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11 September 2009 @ 09:07 am
Firefly Fic: A Drink Ain’t Just A Drink  
Title: A Drink Ain’t Just A Drink
Rating: PG-13ish for drinking?
Words: 1760
Beta: ru_salki99
Disclaimer: All belongs to the mighty Joss
Summary: Jayne’s taken part in many drinking customs, but this new one might be his favorite. Jayne/River as romance or friendship. Up to the reader. Written for wandersfound for the whedonland fic-fest

Every planet had their own ways of doing things and with drinkin’ it was no different. Some drank nothin’ but the most expensive wines and brandies. Jayne honestly didn’t get the appeal of that. You laid down good coin and didn’t even get wasted properly for it. Others drank moonshine brewed in their own tubs. Good stuff for a buzz and cheap too, but even he knew that you touch the wrong stuff and it could blind ya or worse. Still, others drank stuff that tasted like sweets. Kaylee loved the stuff. Jayne though was suspicious of it. What kind of alcohol was fruit flavored? Too sweet with not enough burn. That is what he thought. There had to be a catch.

Jayne liked the towns where whiskey was what slicked your throat. Those people tended to be like the ones back home. Those sort he could understand.

And the reasons people drank differed too. Some drank to their health and some drank to drink. Hell, on some planets, it was only the real religious folk could touch the stuff. He figured he’d be a real holy man on one of those planets… well, as long as sexin’ was still allowed.

Yeah, Jayne liked a good drink as much as the next fella. Hell, maybe more then the next fella, but he never quite viewed getting drunk the same way, since one River Tam showed up.

He supposed it all started on that one measly planet, the one where the girl went to have a few and ended up in a cell with some local drunks and Mal, who couldn’t keep his trap shut. It turned out that on that planet, you couldn’t drink a drop, until you were of the magical age of twenty one. He didn’t know what the fuss was about. He had been drinkin’ whiskey, since he was in nappies and it never did him no harm.

But the local authority made a stink and it ended with Zoe and him having to bail the Captain and the girl out of the local lockup.

Renci de Fouzu!” Mal said the moment the door swung open and they got out. “Never again”

“Surely, it wasn’t that bad,” Zoe laughed as they walked towards the ship.

“Not that bad? Not that bad?” He turned to River, his eyes wide. “She said is wasn’t that bad.”

River cringed slightly, but calmly explained, “It is traditional for inmates to excrete about their cell and cause ciaos for the lawmen, until they gain freedom or pass out.”

Jayne grinned. “Whatcha two do?”

“Neither! I was too busy shielding the girl’s eyes, not to mention my own.” Mal rubbed his face like he was remembering somethin’ plain awful.

Jayne smirked. “Sound all like good fun to me! Well, minus the crappin’ and pissin’ that is.”

Mal stopped, shook his head and pointed at River. “You ain’t touchin’ a drop, until your legal on every planet in this verse and the next. Understand?”

“But it’s not fair,” River complained much to their surprise.

“We ain’t saying it’s fair,” Zoe added, attempting to soothe the girl, “It’s just the way it is.”

River pouted, crossing her arms across her chest and kickin’ at stones as they continued to walk towards Serenity.

After a minute if her muttering nasty things about ‘the mean Captain, who’d keep her prisoner on his ship’, Mal finally turned to her in a huff, “Tell you what, River. You’ll get the honor of being our designated flyer. Then they’ll be no complainin’ ‘bout being tied to the steering wheel or any other part of my ship. Dong ma?”

“And what would be required of me to be this designated flyer?”

“Not much. Just keep an eye open, keep us out of trouble and drag us back to the ship when we’ve had our fill.”

“The elders act as children and the youngest holds the burden of parenthood?”

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“But it is!”

“No, I just meant…” Mal, who seemed to be at lose of words, just sighed, “It’s simpler this way. Ain’t fair, just simpler and as long as you’re on my ship, it’s the way it goes.”

River pulled a face, but kept walkin’.

“If it’s to your preference, you can just stay aboard Serenity, with the rest, while we enjoy our outings,” Mal snapped, clearly havin’ enough.

“No,” River frowned. “I shall be the adult.”

And she was. She was the best Goddamned designated flyer in the verse. That had been a little over two years ago. Since then, she’d sit there, as they all got pleasantly sloshed and dragged their carcasses home whenever they were three sheets to the wind. Was all sorts of handy.

He even told her that one day. Of course, he was drunk at the time.

“You went and made yourself all useful. I sort of like ya now.”

She had just rolled her eyes at him. Girl couldn’t take a compliment.

In fact, he got so used to it that when the day came and she ordered a drink, it near knocked him on his ass with shock.

“Ah, whatcha doin’ girl?” he had let out loudly. “Ya’ll get us kicked out and there ain;t no other good watering holes around this place. Besides, you don’t want to end up in lock up, do ya?”

She had smiled at him. “I’m of age today. Conditions have been met. I may consume fermented fruit and bread as much as I please, now.”

“Ain’t that right?” Mal broke in. “Barkeep, you get my pilot, here, whatever she wants,” He slapped a coin down. Jayne figured that’d it get her a drink or two.

“And one on me as well,” Zoe said following her Captain’s actions, “Happy Birthday, River.”

“Thank you,” she said clearly pleased.

“She’s not flying you anywhere tonight, is she?” the bartender asked Mal, worried.

“No sir. Only place we’re goin’ is to our bunks. After we drink some more of your fine offerings, of course.”

Turning to River, the bartender waited for her to order. She didn’t seem to notice.

“So what ya gonna have?” Jayne asked, givin’ the girl a hint, “Some of that fancy wine your brother is so find of?”

River seemed to think about it, “No. Whiskey.”

The bartender grabbed a bottle of the stuff and went to pour it, when River stopped him with the touch of her hand.

“How much for all of it?”

Eyeing her and her coin wearily, he slowly spoke, “About double what you got there, plus a coin or two more.”

River calmly went into her pocket and pulled out the suitable amount.

The bartender shrugged, took the money and shoved the bottle at the girl. When she smiled at him in reaction, he sighed and pushed one coin back at her, “For your pretty smile,” he said simply, before walkin’ away.

Jayne leaned towards her and whispered, “Sure, you want to be doin’ that? Wastin’ your money. Why don’t you get one of those drinks Kaylee likes?”

“This is suitable,” she said, caressing the bottle with the tips of her fingers.

“All right,” he said, throwing his hands up, “But don’t go making a fuss when you’re bein’ sick all over.”

He downed what was left of his own drink and got ready to join Mal, Zoe and their bottle of spirits, at the table.

River reached over the counter and grabbed another glass, placin’ it next to the other. Opening the bottle, she poured some of the liquid into the glass and pushed it towards him.

“What’s this?”

“Your next drink.”

“I can buy my own. Don‘t need some girl doin’ it for me.

”Next bottle is on you,” she said simply.

Jayne shrugged. He could easily go through this bottle and some of the next, by himself. Jayne picked up his glass and clanked it against her own. Tippin’ it back, he swallowed it all, in one gulp. River did the same, though unlike him, her eyes went wide, and she coughed. After she blinked a few times, she licked her lips and pushed her glass toward him for another fill.

Jayne laughed and nodded his head. In approval, “Well, you either got what it takes… or you’re bein’ moon brained again. Either way, this should be fun,” Jayne poured himself and the girl another. This time they took it good and slow. Some talk was had, but mostly they kept quiet. Jayne realised, it actually wasn’t that bad.

A while and two bottles later, Mal finally came up, “What happened to you two?”

“Been here.”

“River,” Mal said, shaking her arm, though her head was down on the bar, “Time to take us home.”

Jayne gazed drunkenly at the passed out River, “Think we’ll be takin’ her home tonight, Mal.”

Mal studied her a moment, finally realizing’ she was drunk, “Suppose you’re right.”

As Jayne went to scoop the girl up, she woke.

“Whacha doing?” she slurred, pushing him away, “I can walk.”

“Fine then walk,” Jayne mumbled, as he attempted to do that himself. He was only half successful.

As she got up, she stumbled a bit. Jayne went to steady her, but she waved him off. It was only after a few more wobbly steps that she changed her mind, “Maybe I do need your assistance.”

That was fine. Jayne needed hers a bit, as well. As they walked back to the ship, they leaned against the other and helped the other along. Jayne supposed they made a funny pair, but neither paid that no mind. They took it slow and got to where they were goin.’

It was when it was all over and with a smile that Jayne realized that he kind of liked it better this way, River takin’ part and not just sittin‘ by. Sure, drinkin’ would never be the same again, but that was fine by him. For once, he was all about new ways of drinkin."

Renci de Fouzu- merciful buddha
Dong Ma- Understand?

Tags: ,
Current Mood: rushedrushed
jellie_rayneluv: River and Jaynejellie_rayneluv on September 11th, 2009 02:53 pm (UTC)
Aww...Jayne has a new drinking buddy. I bet those two could get into all sorts of trouble together...both at the bar and when they get home from the bar. :)

Very nice story, Thanks for sharing.

Lauraprlrocks on September 13th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it! I did two sequels fo far... yes, trouble will be had. ;)

Thanks for reviewing. :D
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Lauraprlrocks on September 13th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it! Your prompt has now inspired a series! *grins* So I say thank you in return!
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lunaspec_gimmylunaspec_gimmy on September 11th, 2009 06:50 pm (UTC)
Designated flyer...such a nice touch. Great writing.
Lauraprlrocks on September 13th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
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Lauraprlrocks on September 13th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing.
the girl with the mousy hair // stark raving sane: river jaynean_ardent_rain on September 11th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
Hee. That was really cute! Lovely job. :D
Lauraprlrocks on September 13th, 2009 10:02 pm (UTC)
Kalena: spn | castiel doubtskalena_henden on September 11th, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
Designated flyer goes straight for the whiskey. Hee. Nice.

It's still weird for me to hear River talking about things in a non-cryptic or crazy way. It makes me think about what her progression might have been.
Lauraprlrocks on September 14th, 2009 12:36 am (UTC)
Ha! Is this the first time you've read my writing? I'm not sure, since we've been talking forever and a day.

I feel that after Miranda that River would become more normal as time goes on. She'd not ever be fully normal, but more so. :D

Thanks for commenting!
Kalenakalena_henden on September 14th, 2009 07:47 pm (UTC)
I think I must have read some of your Alias stuff back in the day but nothing specific comes to mind. I haven't really read fanfic since those days but I've broken down and read your two new Rayne fics and some few things from friends in other fandoms.
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Lauraprlrocks on September 14th, 2009 12:36 am (UTC)
柳树: FIREFLY/SERENITY - RAYNE [RIVER/ROCK]willow_reece on September 11th, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
Awwwwww, that's so cute!! Loved the first bit with Mal & River, hee. And the ending was really adorable.
Lauraprlrocks on September 14th, 2009 12:37 am (UTC)
So happy you liked it!! Thanks.
SunshineAlisunshineali on September 11th, 2009 11:40 pm (UTC)
Yay, drunk Rayne is fun Rayne! Will you continue this (maybe they try a different liquor at each planet they visit or some such?)

Lauraprlrocks on September 14th, 2009 12:39 am (UTC)
Thanks to your comment two sequels have been posted... and one more on the way. :D

Pia: rayne-leanidyllictorture on September 12th, 2009 06:18 am (UTC)
Aww, very cute. :D I love stories where they end up bonding a little. And alcohol will do that.
Lauraprlrocks on September 14th, 2009 12:40 am (UTC)
yours truly: firefly: riveronebrightmoment on September 14th, 2009 01:58 pm (UTC)

I would really love to hang out with drunk River
Laura: Firefly- Riverprlrocks on September 17th, 2009 09:32 pm (UTC)
Haha. That would be entertaining, wouldn't it?
M: crew of serenity = BDHmfirefly10 on March 24th, 2010 07:52 am (UTC)
I loved this, as well. I like that you've written Jayne/River in such a sweet way. Most Rayne fics I've read have been all angst and while I'm certain there'd be some, I also think they'd have a lot of quieter, kinder moments.